I realize a few hours later as I’m walking the night market in Luang Prabang, Laos one last time, that it was almost a year ago today I had sat down to the dinner table with my parents to tell them that I was going to quit my job and travel the world. I wasn’t looking for their approval as I had already made my decision, but I was hoping to have their support.

They each questioned with how, why and where and listened carefully to the answers I had rehearsed in my head countless times when questioning my own motives. I already knew that as parents, they would be concerned for my safety, but I hoped that the non-parent side of them, the side that didn’t look at me as their little boy but rather a grown man, would support me and understand. As always and as much as I had hoped for, they did.

A few months later in January, I flew to Peru, the world mine to discover. I left knowing myself, nervously confident that I would have an incredible time and when my uncle said I was off to go “find myself”, I remember laughing and saying this trip was just for fun, I already knew who I was!

I couldn’t have been more wrong…

It’s not so much that I didn’t know myself at the time, it’s that when you’re on 17 hour long bus rides, 30 hour plane trips or just spending hours watching the sun rise and set over new horizons you have a lot of time to yourself to think. Your mind eventually wanders to uncharted territories and something you thought you knew suddenly reveals itself as much larger than you expected and far, far more complex.

All of a sudden I found myself questioning everything, becoming less and less knowledgable of my universe and what was around me, but that process was in itself something astounding. It was like opening the door to your closet and instead of a small room with some clothes, there’s a huge banquet hall filled with the excitement of people laughing and dancing for some grand event you can barely comprehend. Then comes the realization that in this new room are hundreds of more doors along the walls, leading to who knows where!

This sounds great and wonderful, but trust me, it’s pretty terrifying when all you were looking for in that closet was an old sweater to throw on!

Suffice to say it’s certainly been a life changing trip for me.

I’ve learned so much about myself, others and the amazing paradoxical world we live in. At the same time I’ve truly come to realize how little I know, understand and comprehend, merely catching tiny, momentary glimpses of the vast breadth of what it is to be part of this incredible universe.

It’s both frustrating and rewarding. At times I’ve lost myself in trying to wrap my head around the answers to some of life’s great riddles, often coming to paradoxical conclusions, which don’t really provide any satisfactory answers.

But then on aspects of the life we lead, the world we evolved for and understanding of the love we all share in the world, I’ve grown so much. I’ve been privileged with seeing so many different people of the world, the common kindness so much more prevalent than reported malevolence, everyone just trying to live their life.

No, none of these things is unique to my trip, and yes we all know these things to be true, but it’s the experience of it that created such internalization for me, a truth for which I can believe.

This was what I was looking for when I set out a little over ten months ago. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now as I type this on the plane ride home.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, I’m more uncertain about my future now than I was before I left, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because I know I have incredible friends, I have my loving family and I have a world that I’m damn happy to be a part of. Most of all though, I’m honored with the privilege of sharing it with you.