I realize a few hours later as I’m walking the night market in Luang Prabang, Laos one last time, that it was almost a year ago today I had sat down to the dinner table with my parents to tell them that I was going to quit my job and travel the world. I wasn’t looking for their approval as I had already made my decision, but I was hoping to have their support.

They each questioned with how, why and where and listened carefully to the answers I had rehearsed in my head countless times when questioning my own motives. I already knew that as parents, they would be concerned for my safety, but I hoped that the non-parent side of them, the side that didn’t look at me as their little boy but rather a grown man, would support me and understand. As always and as much as I had hoped for, they did.

A few months later in January, I flew to Peru, the world mine to discover. I left knowing myself, nervously confident that I would have an incredible time and when my uncle said I was off to go “find myself”, I remember laughing and saying this trip was just for fun, I already knew who I was!

I couldn’t have been more wrong…

It’s not so much that I didn’t know myself at the time, it’s that when you’re on 17 hour long bus rides, 30 hour plane trips or just spending hours watching the sun rise and set over new horizons you have a lot of time to yourself to think. Your mind eventually wanders to uncharted territories and something you thought you knew suddenly reveals itself as much larger than you expected and far, far more complex.

All of a sudden I found myself questioning everything, becoming less and less knowledgable of my universe and what was around me, but that process was in itself something astounding. It was like opening the door to your closet and instead of a small room with some clothes, there’s a huge banquet hall filled with the excitement of people laughing and dancing for some grand event you can barely comprehend. Then comes the realization that in this new room are hundreds of more doors along the walls, leading to who knows where!

This sounds great and wonderful, but trust me, it’s pretty terrifying when all you were looking for in that closet was an old sweater to throw on!

Suffice to say it’s certainly been a life changing trip for me.

I’ve learned so much about myself, others and the amazing paradoxical world we live in. At the same time I’ve truly come to realize how little I know, understand and comprehend, merely catching tiny, momentary glimpses of the vast breadth of what it is to be part of this incredible universe.

It’s both frustrating and rewarding. At times I’ve lost myself in trying to wrap my head around the answers to some of life’s great riddles, often coming to paradoxical conclusions, which don’t really provide any satisfactory answers.

But then on aspects of the life we lead, the world we evolved for and understanding of the love we all share in the world, I’ve grown so much. I’ve been privileged with seeing so many different people of the world, the common kindness so much more prevalent than reported malevolence, everyone just trying to live their life.

No, none of these things is unique to my trip, and yes we all know these things to be true, but it’s the experience of it that created such internalization for me, a truth for which I can believe.

This was what I was looking for when I set out a little over ten months ago. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now as I type this on the plane ride home.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, I’m more uncertain about my future now than I was before I left, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because I know I have incredible friends, I have my loving family and I have a world that I’m damn happy to be a part of. Most of all though, I’m honored with the privilege of sharing it with you.

We all smile as we climb onto the back of the Green Discovery Tours truck with the other trekking couple and two guides. It’s an hour of driving before we reach the start of the two-day Laos jungle and hill tribes trek, and as usual the conversation starts with the standard, “So where are you guys from?” and “How long are you here for?” questions so commonly asked among backpackers, an instant friendship being formed in the process.

We swap stories from South America and other parts of the world, while giving each other advice and tips on future locales from our own experiences. The drive goes quickly and before I know it we’ve stopped and are walking up a dirt road, a 3.5hr hike to the first hill tribe.

Our main guide, Sack, stops periodically as we walk, pointing out different plants that the locals use, be it spices, fruits or medicines. Naturally he offers us samples which of course we all try, usually to our taste buds delight!

The first few hours are a long climb up the low Laos mountains through the sticky rice and hops fields, all of us appreciating the fact that the fields are farmed by hand as the terrain is too steep for machinery and with an average income of $50 per month far too costly anyways for most.

Arriving at the first village, one of the Hmong Tribes, we’re greeted with pigs, chickens, ducks, goats and cows milling about. The hard reddish-brown soil covers everything and nearly matches the color of the bamboo houses, the dusty brown of the village a stark contrast to the lush green jungle and blue sky of its surroundings.

Little children smile and hide behind buildings peeking out to giggle at us with each other as we sit down for lunch. Only a few adults are around as most are out working their rice fields, the kids left to look after themselves.

The four of us scarf down our delicious meal of sticky rice with side dishes of mixed vegetables and various meats using only our hands and then satisfied, sit back and relax, taking in the village, imagining the life these locals live. It’s definitely a hard one.

Next we hike 10 mins over the hill to a larger forty-family Khmu Tribe village that has some subtle differences in their building design. Our guide explains that even though they live so close together they have a completely different dialect that only our other guide understands. A group of young boys follows us out of the village for a while as they take some cows to feed, smiling and laughing. Zdednek, the other guy in our group, teaches them “Good”, “No good” and “Maybe” with thumbs up and down gestures. We all laugh and the kids love it, being pretty good too by the time we wave goodbye to them further along the trail.

The rest of the day we trek through small trails in the dense jungle, periodically stopping for a rest, leeches taking advantage of our pause to swarm our shoes trying to climb up to our exposed legs for a quick meal. It was like a B-rated horror film as we all keep checking our shoes, desperately flicking off the little blood suckers slowly inching up. But hey, it’s all part of the Laos experience hahah

Arriving at the village we’re staying in for the night before the most of the adults get back from working the fields, Brie, my travel buddy for a week here in Laos, and I go for a walk. We head towards the sounds of splashing and laughter to find a group of little kids playing in a small creek. Overcoming their initial shyness they start jumping, doing flips and cartwheeling into the river, performing for us. We laugh with them at their antics and then continue checking out the rest of the 35 family village.

As the evening sets in the adults all start coming home, splashes of color added to the brown of the village by a few of their surprisingly vibrant clothes. Some of the younger men play a game like volleyball with a softball size bamboo wicker ball, using only their feet and head, a few of their acrobatic kicks truly awesome.

We eat another meal that’s similar to our lunch and then about fifteen of the younger kids are brought to come sing for us. Initially it’s a pretty lame tourist thing they do but then the kids actually get curious and we all start playing games like rock, paper, scissors and such so it turns fun and was actually pretty interesting.

We teach them some english words and they make us attempt their words, laughing at our feeble attempts. Then the shots of the local Lao-whiskey start…and continue…and continue. We spend the rest of the night chatting with the guides, finally heading to our bamboo shack when 2 liters of their 100-proof whiskey has made us all very drunk.

We’re woken up in the morning by the village roosters’ continuous salute to the sun right outside our hut along with ducks and pigs quacking and snorting away. It may sound nice and cute…but trust me, its not the greatest at 6am after a night of Lao-whiskey hahaha

We head off after a quick breakfast, each taking about an hour to fully wake up. It’s a good five hour hike to where we get picked up. Another day hiking of striking scenery, beautiful weather and passing by the locals tirelessly working in their fields.

As we all climb into the back of the truck, I take a moment to reflect on how different our lives are in western countries, and yet still, we’re all so completely the same.