One Man’s Noble Quest
It’s 9:30am and I’ve just arrived at the Los Angeles airport from a transfer in Dallas and Buenos Aires before that. My flight out to Auckland isn’t until 11:30pm so I figure now’s a good time to head out and see a bit of LA. From talking with a few different people, Santa Monica was the place to go. I jump on the airport bus to the public bus terminal and catch the 30min ride into town.
It’s a nice area, all the shops are just starting to open and the streets are starting to fill up. I cruise around, window shopping at various stores trying on hats*, looking at clothes I can’t afford and jumping on my iPod and cruising the net when I’m in range of free wifi.
The day wanes on with nothing particularly exciting happening** as I walk the harbour front, the pier and various streets of Santa Monica. As evening sets in more people begin filling the streets, everyone undoubtedly going to the posh restaurants in the area for sushi and doing some shopping at the high end stores. As I am waiting to cross one of the busy intersections I see a man on the other side holding a piece of cardboard and laughing while yelling at some people on my end of the street. He’s probably in his mid forties, his raggedy hair and torn clothes jostling with his movements, a beaming smile proudly displaying his missing teeth.
The light turns green for him to walk over and about halfway across his eyes lock onto mine. I grin back honestly as he just seems so happy crossing the road. He takes that as an invitation to come over and talk to me. I naturally presume he’s homeless and going to ask me for money, but most of the ones that are that happy usually have something clever to say or are at least fun and interesting to talk to for a minute.
He gets close as he starts talking to me and I’m surprised to realize that his breath smells (verrrryy strongly) like garlic versus the usual smoke or alcohol. His boisterous and friendly attitude beaming from his grinning face. This should be interesting, I think to myself.
Him: Hey! Can I ask you a question?
Me: Well in asking me if you could ask a question you’ve already asked a question!
Him: Hmmm, well can I ask you another question?
Me: Hahaha you just did again!
Him: Hahaha oh come on, I just want to ask you if you think this is as funny as I do.
He holds out his piece of cardboard for me to read. “Stop circumcision!” is written in dark black letters across the top with the rest of it filled with smaller writing in pen.
Him: You see I’ve been protesting circumcision for over 20 years now.
Me: A good cause! I too am against circumcision.***
Him: Exactly! That’s why I have this sign.
Me: It’s a nice sign hahah
Him: You see all this small stuff here?
Me: Yes
Him: I’ve tried to come up with all the different uses of the word! I think I’ve written all the inflections of it. Conjugations of it as a verb and declensions as a noun and come up with sentences for them.
Me: hahaha really? That’s pretty hilarious man!
I take a closer look at the cardboard and indeed, everything is there as far as my knowledge of grammar**** goes.
Him: Here check this one out, I just wrote it today and I think it’s hilarious! I want to see if you do too.
He points to the phrase near the bottom that is bigger than the other ones.
Him: It’s using it in a passive subjunctive sentence! “I don’t feel so good. I must be being circumcised.”
He looks at me grinning after reading it out to me. The entire reality/absurdity/wonderful strangeness of the situation hits me and I burst out laughing. He joins in my laugh, seemingly pleased with my response as his already friendly smile transforms into a booming laugh.
Me: hahaha ya man that is indeed pretty damn funny! Some fine work there!
Him: Why thank you, I’m glad you think it’s funny too! Alright have a good night.
Me: Will do and you too. Keep on spreading the good word against circumcision!
Him: Always!
He walks away down the sidewalk, catching up with his friends he was yelling at previously.
That was interesting I think to myself, he didn’t even want any money! All he wanted to know is if his passive subjunctive sentence using the word circumcised was funny or not hahahah
Ahhh what an interesting world we live in with such interesting people.
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* due to the high efficiency of my brain, less volume is needed so my head is smaller than most people’s thus resulting in almost all hats digging into my ears. So I’m on a constant mission to find a hat that both fits me and I really like…I am still on that mission.
** except I ended up buying the Patagonia – Better Sweater that I always wanted for far too much money than any sweater should be…I am weak…lol
*** true story
**** which is an extremely limited knowledge of grammar because I like to say that being an engineer provides me with an excuse to not concern myself with proper understanding of my own language. Talk math**** to me baby!!
***** which I’ve clearly all forgotten since I’ve been out of uni for 2.5 years…hahah